The Misogynist and the Feminist

Amos is a well known successful author, who writes mainly novels and love stories, full of romance. However, in real life he is a worlds class misogynist.

Joan is an executive manager in a big company, controlling many employees. In real life she is feminist to the extreme.

Both of them are good bridge players, playing at the same local club. Since they often collide, they both got warned, twice, by the TD. Last warning was very clear! If they ever fight again about men – women issues, they are going to be kicked out of the club!

So... They are careful now. But they don't miss opportunities, when they arise, to punch each other below the belt.

Today, Amos was playing with one of his fans. She was gazing at him full of admiration, no matter what he did. Finally, she asked him a question. He thought for a moment, and then told her to wait with that question, and ask it again when they reach table 8.

Finally... at table 8, sitting opposite Joan and her partner, the question was asked again:

"Amos, how come you understand women so well?"

His answer was immediate (... after all, he had plenty time to plan it):

"I think of a man. Then I remove reason, comprehension, technical sense and add recklessness, irresponsibility, squandering and uncontrollable jealousy."

The TD, who was on alert mode every time these two met, was standing right besides their table and said: "AMOS!".

Amos swallowed a huge smile and said humbly: "I simply answered my partner's question!"

Joan, who was suspiciously silent, waited patiently for her chance. She became declarer on the next deal:

Dealer East, none vulnerable


West lead the ♦Q. Amos in East won the ♦A and returned another diamond.

Joan won the ♦K, pulled trumps, and ran the ♥Q when East played low.

The ♥Q won, and she played another heart to the ♥A. Then she ruffed a diamond and played the ♥J. When Amos covered with the ♥K, she allowed him to win, discarding a club from hand.

Amos was endplayed, forced to play either a club to dummy's ♣K, or a diamond and grant declarer a ruff/sluff. Either way, declarer would lose only 1 club, 1 diamond and 1 heart.

"Only men can be so crystal clear, sticking to dry rules (3rd hand plays high) and completely lacking creativity. If he (= Amos) played low at trick 1, I would win the ♦K, but later, when he gets the hand, he can return a low diamond to West's hand, and get a club return to set the contract," said Joan in glory.

"How come you know men so well?" asked her partner.

"I think of a woman. Then I remove love, sensitivity, efficiency, ability to see things from different angles, and add stinginess, disrespect, predictability, stubbornness and laziness..."

The TD was fed up. Both got expelled for 7 days to cool off.