Today you will hear a story about 8 couples (husbands and wives) who
play "kitchen bridge" every Saturday. Each week another couple hosts.
Bridge at home is nothing like tournaments in bridge clubs: gossip,
buffet full of goodies, wine, light (and heavy!) drinks and also... a
little bit of bridge. Needless to say that all refreshments
are on the hosting couple.
But this Saturday one of the men couldn't make it. "He wasn't feeling
well," twitted his wife and went without any guilty feelings to her
regular table. The ladies and the men sat at different tables – how
else can you gossip effectively?
"What are we gonna do now?" said the three widowed men together,
feeling miserable for themselves.
"I have a neighbor who used to play, but I think he hasn't touched
cards for the past 20 years," said the host.
"Just bring him here," demanded the others.
So they showed up at the neighbor's door, dragged him over in his
pyjamas to ask him to be their fourth.
"Guys, I haven't played in ages... I'm going back home," said
the neighbor obviously feeling uncomfortable "miles away" from his safe
place.
"Oh, come one! Sit down! Just follow suit, and it will all be OK," said
his left hand opponent.
"OK , just remind me - what am I supposed to bid if I get a hand with
13 spades?
"Ha, didn't play 20 years and now he wants 13 spades. It never happened
and never will happen!" laughed RHO. "If you get such a hand, I'll give
you my wife as a present," whispered LHO, throwing a worried glance to
the ladies' table just to make sure she didn't overhear his comment
(he'd be in big trouble if she did...).
"Just bid what you've got!" said his partner with a warm smile.
So they dealt the first board and here's how the bidding went. Dear
readers, have you ever seen such a bizarre auction?
West smiled widely at the bidding and lead the ♣K. Declarer
won the ♣A, drew trumps, played 2 rounds of spade, ruffed his spade
loser in dummy and claimed.
"What sort of a bidding is
that?",
shouted the opponents losing their condescendent smile.
"I just followed my partner's advice and bid what I had... I had one
club so I bid 1♣... next I bid my two hearts, the three spades and the
seven diamonds. I bid them all!" said the neighbor pleased with himself.
"I wonder what you'd bid with 13 spades then?" said LHO mad at this
uncanny logic.
"Which of the nice ladies here is your wife?" asked the neighbor.
"Last seat on the left," came the answer.
"Hmm, in that case, with 13 spades, I would surely
pass," laughed the
neighbor and got up to fill his plate from the rich buffet.