A Beginner

This is a story about a good Dutch friend of mine, who prefers to remain anonymous. Many years ago, he came to visit me in Tel Aviv. After a night flight I was surprised to see him in my club, few hours later, for the morning session tournament.

"Nice place you have here," he complimented me. "Can you find me a partner?". "I have no player here even close to match your level," I warned him. "Doesn't matter, anyone will do," he said. So... I set him up with "the hat lady" – a flashing red haired lady who always wears flowered dresses and hats.
"What is your level?" she fired out with no hesitation. "Reasonable," he answered humbly. "Do you know any conventions?," she continued her cross examination. "Yes, some of them," he answered.
"How long have you been playing?" she insisted. "Ehhh... Few years, I guess," he continued answering politely. "What place did you finish on the last tournament you played?" she kept asking. "Fifth," he said. "Fifth!? – I always finish here first to third!" She came back to me with an angry look: "How dare you set me up with beginners, Oren? I want another partner!" So I gave the "hat lady" another partner and set my friend with one of the weakest bridge players in the club, a bad player but a great person with a healthy sense of humor and a joyful laugh. During the tournament they got to play against the "hat lady":



The bidding:



"Is 3♠ Bergen?” asked the "hat lady" with an evil smile.
"No, we play by the ear, no conventions at all," answered my friend.
After she lead the ♣K and saw the dummy, she continued to nag:
"3♠ with 9 lousy points?"
"Well, I normally bid 2♠ with such a hand but with the wizard I'm playing with today – I thought of bidding 4♠ right away! I have no doubt at all that he will make the contract," said my friend's partner.
"Not even the world's champion would be able to make this contract! No wonder you are always last. You will probably end up last today too, with these foolish bids," replied the "hat lady".
My friend won the lead with the ♣A and ruffed a club. He played the ♠A and saw the bad split. He continued with ♦AK then played another diamond to the ♦Q. Then he ruffed another club, played the ♥AK and ruffed the last club in his hand. He now had remained the ♥5 and the ♠KJ while West still had ♠Q109. When he played his last heart at trick 11, West was forced to ruff her partner’s heart winner and play a spade into my friend's ♠KJ.  "Wonderful performance!" my friend's partner shouted out loud, clapped her hands many times and continued: "You see? I told you he is a wizard! Now you have to eat that foolish hat of yours," she said, bursting into laughter.
The hat lady was all red. "What was this last tournament you played?" she asked feebly. "It was the World Championship," he answered. My friend won that morning tournament at my club with a club record score of 82%. And also... 11 months later he played for Holland winning the next World Championship.