Just bid what you’ve got!

Today you will hear a story about 8 couples (husbands and wives) who play "kitchen bridge" every Saturday. Each week another couple hosts. Bridge at home is nothing like tournaments in bridge clubs: gossip, buffet full of goodies, wine, light (and heavy!) drinks and also... a little bit of bridge. Needless to say that all refreshments are on the hosting couple.

But this Saturday one of the men couldn't make it. "He wasn't feeling well," twitted his wife and went without any guilty feelings to her regular table. The ladies and the men sat at different tables – how else can you gossip effectively?

"What are we gonna do now?" said the three widowed men together, feeling miserable for themselves.
"I have a neighbor who used to play, but I think he hasn't touched cards for the past 20 years," said the host.
"Just bring him here," demanded the others.
So they showed up at the neighbor's door, dragged him over in his pyjamas to ask him to be their fourth.
"Guys, I haven't played in ages... I'm going back home," said the neighbor obviously feeling uncomfortable "miles away" from his safe place.
"Oh, come one! Sit down! Just follow suit, and it will all be OK," said his left hand opponent.
"OK , just remind me - what am I supposed to bid if I get a hand with 13 spades?
"Ha, didn't play 20 years and now he wants 13 spades. It never happened and never will happen!" laughed RHO. "If you get such a hand, I'll give you my wife as a present," whispered LHO, throwing a worried glance to the ladies' table just to make sure she didn't overhear his comment (he'd be in big trouble if she did...).
"Just bid what you've got!" said his partner with a warm smile.

So they dealt the first board and here's how the bidding went. Dear readers, have you ever seen such a bizarre auction?






West smiled widely at the bidding and lead the ♣K. Declarer won the ♣A, drew trumps, played 2 rounds of spade, ruffed his spade loser in dummy and claimed.
"What sort of a bidding is that?", shouted the opponents losing their condescendent smile.
"I just followed my partner's advice and bid what I had... I had one club so I bid 1♣... next I bid my two hearts, the three spades and the seven diamonds. I bid them all!" said the neighbor pleased with himself.
"I wonder what you'd bid with 13 spades then?" said LHO mad at this uncanny logic.
"Which of the nice ladies here is your wife?" asked the neighbor.
"Last seat on the left," came the answer.
"Hmm, in that case, with 13 spades, I would surely pass," laughed the neighbor and got up to fill his plate from the rich buffet.