The Step Wife

Harold hated his wife. God knows how much he hated her. For all his life she has been tormenting him, abusing him and using him as a "potato sack". Especially at bridge she would always put him down and blame him for everything. That was why he hated her.

But about a year ago, things started to go right. Very right. So he thought... When the doctor covered her face in their bedroom, and told him "I'm deeply sorry Harold, your wife is dead". He was thinking of all the things he'd be able to do now that he finally broke free.

Four men put her in the coffin and moved her out of the bedroom and down the stairs. However, while going down the stairs, one of them missed the half broken step, and the whole group fell down the stairs, in a big bang, the coffin got smashed to the floor and broke into little pieces. The bang was so hard that his wife... woke up, rising from the dead.

Ignoring all the mess around her (broken wood and four wounded people), she looked at the clock and yelled: "Harold! Did you see what time it is? Why didn't you wake me up? Come on, we are late for the bridge club!" She stood up and went straight to the door.

At the table, things went as bad as ever:


First of all, she was not pleased with his bidding. She whispered to her opponent, covering her mouth with her hand, as if she didn't want him to hear, but speaking loud enough for him to hear her anyway: "The poor guy can't see red from white, insisting to play the hand instead of letting you play 4♥ doubled vulnerable against not."

Upset by this comment, Harold was determined to make his contract, but he played too fast and failed:

West lead the ♠3. Seeing only 2 losers, he asked for a low spade from dummy, not saying "no" to a free finesse. East produced the ♠Q, Harold took the ♠A and played a diamond but East won the ♦A, returned a spade, and West ruffed with his last trump.

The ♣A was the setting trick and it also unleashed more comments from his wife: "Watching you play makes me wish to be dead," she said.
"But you WERE dead! Why did you come back then? I know why - to do what you really live for: nag me! Like Cinderella's step mother, you are my step wife!"

She ignored him, put on her evil smile and whispered to her opponent: "He only needed to win the ♠K on the opening lead and throw his ♠A on the ♥A .That simple. Now he can play trumps and when East takes the ♦A and returns a spade, he can ruff high and claim."

And here we are now, another year later, same place as before: The same doctor comes out of the room saying: "I'm deeply sorry Harold, your wife is dead... again." And the exact same four men put her in the coffin, and moved her out of the bedroom and down the stairs.

Seeing the same movie coming back at him, Harold made up his mind that this story is going to have another ending, and so he shouted: "Careful! Watch out for that broken step!!!"

Seeing through cards #14

Dealer South. None Vul.


Against 3NT you lead the ♣3. Your partner played the ♣J and declarer won with the ♣A and played the ♦Q, overtaking in dummy when you played low. He continued with the ♦J, discarding the ♣4 from his hand, and you won with the ♦A.

1. Where is the ♣K?
2. Where is the ♣10?
3. What is declarer's distribution?
4. Which card you must hope partner to have in order to set 3NT?
5. Which card will you play next?

1. Where is the ♣K?
   With Declarer, as partner didn't play it at trick 1 (3rd hand plays high).


2. Where is the ♣10?
   With declarer, as partner didn't play it at trick 1 (3rd hand plays LOW from a touching sequence).


3. What is declarer's distribution?
   4-4-1-4. Declarer showed 4-4 in the majors + he followed to only 1 diamond = he has 4 clubs.


4. Which card you must hope partner to have in order to set 3NT?
   ♠A. If declarer has it - he has already 10 tricks: 2 hearts, 5 diamonds, 2 clubs and...the ♠A. So You must assume partner has it and play accordingly.


5. Which card you play next?
   ♠K. Assuming partner has the ♠A, you need to play in such a way that the defense will make 4 spade tricks. If you play low spade, partner will take the ♠A, return a spade to your ♠K (♠Q falls), you will cash the ♠J, but declarer's ♠10 is high.
   
   If you play the ♠J, declarer will cover it with the ♠Q. Partner will win the ♠A, return spade to your ♠K9, but again, declarer's ♠10 is high.
   
   You need to plan that the 3rd spade will come from partner's hand! So... play the ♠K first, then the ♠2 to partner's ♠A (♠Q falls) and the 3rd round of spades from partner puts your ♠J9 over declarer's ♠108.

Things to remember:

1. Third hand plays high.
2. From touching honors or sequence of cards, 3rd hand plays LOW from the sequence.
3. If you realize you need a certain card from partner to set a contract - assume it is there and play accordingly - what other choice you have?
4. Realizing declarer has 4 spades and partner needs the ♠A to set, this is the position:
   

   	♠Q5
   ♠KJ92		♠A43
   	♠10876

   Play the ♠K, continue with the ♠2 to partner's ♠A, and a 3rd spade from him will put your ♠J9 over his ♠108.
5. And which card will you play in this sequence?
   

   	♠Q65
   ♠KJ92		♠A43
   	♠1087

   Play the ♠J! Declarer must cover with the ♠Q and partner will win the ♠A, return a spade and you have ♠K9 over declarer's ♠108.
6. Bidding 4th suit on level 1 (as the above sequence) shows either 4th suit forcing (=Game Forcing) OR a natural 4 carder spade.
7. Bidding 1♠ and later 3♦ = Game forcing, will show that your 1♠ bid was 4th suit and not natural spades.
   NOTICE! If North would bid 3♦ as rebid after 1♦ (without bidding 1♠), that would show an invitational hand with 6 diamonds and 10-11 points, on which South may Pass (!) with a minimum hand.

The Psychiatrist

Gary was laying on his Psychiatrist's bed, on his back, gazing at the ceiling:

"I came home so upset because of this hand. They all made 3NT and only I got doubled and went 5 down. When I came home I told my wife what happened, but, instead of comforting me, she threw more salt on my open wound:

'Of course they doubled. They saw who their opponent was'.

And actually, maybe she is right. Perhaps I am not meant for this game. Perhaps I should look for another 'career' and abandon Bridge".



West lead a spade. I tried the ♠9 but East won the ♠10 and switched to a diamond. I played the 10♦ which lost to West's ♦J, then West played another spade.
My ♠K lost to East's ♠A who played another diamond, and my ♦Q lost to West's ♦K. Another spade was played, and East won the ♠Q then cashed his high ♠8, returning yet another diamond. I finally won my 1st trick with the ♦A.

But the nightmare had just begun: When I played on clubs, East took with the ♣A, returned a diamond and West took 2 more diamond tricks. Leaving me with only 4 tricks, and cashing 9 themselves (1 club, 4 diamonds and 4 spades). 'We made 3NT" East giggled."

"So, what say you, Doctor? I have a great voice, I sing everyday in the bath. Maybe I should start a singing career?"

The Psychiatrist saw Garry's distress, and helped immediately:
"Garry, my friend, you are a man of many talents. I'm sure you can be successful in any career you chose. There's nothing wrong with your Bridge! You made no mistake here and it is not your fault you had good opponents. East's double is actually a "Lead directing double", asking West to lead dummy's 1st bid suit. The way your opponents defended, and especially the spade lead, gave you no chance at all. I'd guess that at the other tables, East did not double and West probably lead a diamond.

Look how all the momentum of the game changes: On a diamond lead, declarer wins the ♦10 and plays a club. East wins and returns a diamond but declarer has already 9 tricks in his bag: 4 Clubs, 2 Diamonds and 3 Hearts".

Garry felt better immediately.
"Say Doc, to whom do you go when you're traumatized?"
"Ohh... I see a collegue of mine one once a week, he also happens to be my bridge partner. As soon as I see him I say: 'Hey pard, you seem to be OK. And how am I?'"