The Step Wife

Harold hated his wife. God knows how much he hated her. For all his life she has been tormenting him, abusing him and using him as a "potato sack". Especially at bridge she would always put him down and blame him for everything. That was why he hated her.

But about a year ago, things started to go right. Very right. So he thought... When the doctor covered her face in their bedroom, and told him "I'm deeply sorry Harold, your wife is dead". He was thinking of all the things he'd be able to do now that he finally broke free.

Four men put her in the coffin and moved her out of the bedroom and down the stairs. However, while going down the stairs, one of them missed the half broken step, and the whole group fell down the stairs, in a big bang, the coffin got smashed to the floor and broke into little pieces. The bang was so hard that his wife... woke up, rising from the dead.

Ignoring all the mess around her (broken wood and four wounded people), she looked at the clock and yelled: "Harold! Did you see what time it is? Why didn't you wake me up? Come on, we are late for the bridge club!" She stood up and went straight to the door.

At the table, things went as bad as ever:


First of all, she was not pleased with his bidding. She whispered to her opponent, covering her mouth with her hand, as if she didn't want him to hear, but speaking loud enough for him to hear her anyway: "The poor guy can't see red from white, insisting to play the hand instead of letting you play 4♥ doubled vulnerable against not."

Upset by this comment, Harold was determined to make his contract, but he played too fast and failed:

West lead the ♠3. Seeing only 2 losers, he asked for a low spade from dummy, not saying "no" to a free finesse. East produced the ♠Q, Harold took the ♠A and played a diamond but East won the ♦A, returned a spade, and West ruffed with his last trump.

The ♣A was the setting trick and it also unleashed more comments from his wife: "Watching you play makes me wish to be dead," she said.
"But you WERE dead! Why did you come back then? I know why - to do what you really live for: nag me! Like Cinderella's step mother, you are my step wife!"

She ignored him, put on her evil smile and whispered to her opponent: "He only needed to win the ♠K on the opening lead and throw his ♠A on the ♥A .That simple. Now he can play trumps and when East takes the ♦A and returns a spade, he can ruff high and claim."

And here we are now, another year later, same place as before: The same doctor comes out of the room saying: "I'm deeply sorry Harold, your wife is dead... again." And the exact same four men put her in the coffin, and moved her out of the bedroom and down the stairs.

Seeing the same movie coming back at him, Harold made up his mind that this story is going to have another ending, and so he shouted: "Careful! Watch out for that broken step!!!"